Thursday, October 27, 2011

Just As Twisted As A Balloon Knot

"i'm talking about my asshole"  such a stupid stupid movie but that part just stays with me for some reason...

the crazies are out in record numbers tonight... even the dude i called the cops on the other day is back doing the same shit he was the other night... sometimes i wish that place would implode... just eat itself... or something...

i've been kinda bored in my mind lately... i think i need a hobby or something... or maybe more friends...

so like... i'm holding off on tinting my car windows.... i really want to do it but a couple of things are standing in my way right now... 1.  i gotta fix the tie rod end or some shit and that's prolly more important... 2.  one of the back windows broke and i'm not sure if it needs to function in order to apply tint... and 3. (and most importantly) the dude who was gonna do it won't return my texts and i prolly don't give a fuck enough to look up the phone number and call the store...

holy shit... like an entire week has gone by since i started this blog... i have been SO FREAKIN BUSY at work... i actually left my computer at the repair place for an entire week and thought nothing of it... it's actually not even hooked up yet in my house either... did the same thing with a cable box on saturday... sometime i think i would actually be okay with out all the electronics and 200 dollar cable bills... but then i'm like duhh. of course i need every freakin channel they make...

been focusing on working out a lot again... made it to the gym like 3 days in a row so far!!! this is awesome!!  i've completely altered my diet as well... no more mcdonalds i even made myself a reminder sign and hung it up...

it's actually working!!  no more cookies no more french fries and i've switched ice cream at night for cottage cheese and fruit... also i'm forcing myself to like chicken since i gave up red meat...  i feel great but i'm not losing any fucking weight!!! i don't get it!!  LOL

the mexicans are listening to weird covers of lady gaga songs right now... but at least they are in english...

i'm finding myself having to deal with something completely new to me... my employee is a fucking mental case and i don't know how to navigate her... like she does this thing where she thinks everyone is talking about her and for the first time ever i've had to use the phrase "this is not your conversation" or "this is not a discussion" or "please just drop it"  she always thinks she's getting fired which she is not... she meets the requirements to work here... (shows up and doesn't steal) .... but like... she was like crying yesterday when i told her some things she needs to start doing differently... i can't deal with that shit... normally i'd tell a person like this to toughen up but in this case i'm sure it will backfire... i don't understand how a person can say they have no self-esteem but hold them self in such high regard that she actually believes everything is about her and everyone is always discussing her... sounds like polar opposites to me... it's frustrating... i keep myself at a distance but i really need some advice on this one... i like the girl... she's a good worker and she's good intentioned but like... i don't get bipolar... she's the perfect example of why battered women's shelters exist... she like is over defensive and can't catch on to other people's emotion... she just doesn't know when to shut up... help!!!!

i think i totally just creeped this guy out... new customer comes in... his shirt has his name on it...i recognized him immediately as a guy that used to date my sister... i haven't seen him in 14 years but he looked exactly the same... i asked him his phone number and told him i assumed his lasted name according to his shirt... he made a joke about how perceptive i am... then i said let me guess your first name... and i did... but he didn't know that i already knew him... he looked shocked... it was funny... (prolly really fucked up from his view) but i'm not looking to impress anyone... of course i let him know how i knew him...

"we might've fucked not really sure don't quite recall"  greatest line from a song ever...  lol....

so like.... i've got a great idea for a porn... in popped into my head the other day when i was scared my car was gonna break while i was driving... wouldn't it be hot if like a call comes into a tow truck company in the middle of night from a woman whose car was broken down on the side of a deserted road (or maybe super busy road, doesn't matter)... and like when the guy shows up she's inside the back seat of the car laying down masturbating... he knocks on the window... she rolls it down and he asks her "were you the one who called for service" or something porn corny like that... and she's like "oh yeah i need to be serviced" and then he's like "oh well it looks like your (insert car part that could sound like body part here) needs to be lubed" and then he pulls out a tube of lube and squeezes it all over her pussy... explaining to her how it's important to make sure these parts stay nice and slick to work properly... sliding his fingers in and out of her... then she unzips his coveralls  (they are most likely blue in color) and he's not wearing anything under them... his cock is just pulsing in there... she gets the zipper all the way down and guides his throbbing dick into her mouth... takes it in as far as she can before she gags on it a little... he pulls it out of her mouth and smacks her face with it... she loves it and takes the opportunity to put his balls in her mouth and really get her face up in there... then she grabs onto the shaft of his dick with her hand and strokes it while flicking her tongue back and forth over the head... before he can even react she put the head in her mouth and sucks with crazy pressure... he's about to explode all over but he holds back... he must have her juicy pussy on his face... he sits her up against the door and spreads her legs... she's got one on his shoulder and the other over the top of the front head rest... he teases her a bit by licking her inner thighs... she won't stand for that tho... she grabs his head and shoves his face on to her... he sucks on her clit so hard she starts thrust herself closer to him... he sticks a finger inside of her and within a few seconds she explodes... there is pussy juicy everywhere... as she's laying there still in a daze he grabs his cock and jerks off until he cums all over her tits... she runs her fingers through it and licks them clean... he puts his clothes back on and leaves her laying there in the backseat... he drives away only to discover the actual broken down car a few hundred feet more up the road... the end...

so i've got these pics from a photo shoot a few months ago... kinda missing the pink hair... kinda...

holy crap it's been an hour and like photoshop has only exported 53%  that is nuts... i'll fill the void with a conversation i just had with a person about douche bags and their effect on the environment.

me:  it's just been so busy here lately... hard to take the time to appreciate a real douche bag

him: i mean who doesnt appreciate a solid douche bag.

me:  everyone loves them... it's what keeps the earth in rotation

him:  i believe it has some sort of effect on the tides and gravitational pull when a douche bag stops being a douche bag

me:  i would tend to agree with that logic... not only is it highly unlikely but it causes tsunamis when it does...

him: its tragic, but japan suffered the most from the last douche bag

me: lol... they sure did... he musta been like a category 5 offender... maybe he liked saved a bunch of puppies on a burning bus or something to cause that much destruction

him: its quite possible, i feel that they should register with police dept's due to there quarky tendencies and lack of consistency, ud think...once a douche always a douche...not the case.

me:  there should also be some sort of warning system to alert the public... somewhat similar to the reverse 911 system but with a much quicker response time... perhaps maybe even the deployment of storm troopers

him: and like a tornado whistle...something that shakes houses?

me: of course... it would be like the siren they have for nuclear plants in a radiation emergency... but much more annoying of a sound... like that vuvuzela thing from the soccer games

him: hahahaha...i hate that thing, i would be completely alarmed if i heard that at 2am.

and that explains it all... no god... no global warming... no mother nature... no apocalypse... no fate... no karma... (well maybe club karma)  douche bags are the reason the world will just stop existing one day...

well it's now 11:33 and i've gotten no work done and my pictures still have 16 more percents to go before i can start to go through them... i'll take a break for now and come back laterz...

as it turns out... later is the next day... let's get down to business...













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