Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Dry Cleaner Diaries....


Mrs. Rubens walks in the door and before she even makes it to the counter she exclaims how she HAS TO HAVE these pants for tomorrow. I kindly explain to her that we are having machine trouble and I cannot guaranty them for tomorrow...

Mr. Katz just came in here to say "good morning"  he prolly jerked off to me last night and once again this morning since he copped a feel of my stomach yesterday... I suppose him coming in to say hi would just be his form of "pillow talk"  gross.

anyways back to Mrs. Rubens... she says "well I NEED THEM" I try to explain to her again that the machine is not operational right now and that there is a significant chance the pants will not be back tomorrow.  she states to me rather than asking "well they will be back the next day for sure then"  once again I tell her that there is no way for me to know that until the repairs are completed on the machine.  she still doesn't understand that I cannot dry clean her pants for tomorrow or the next day without a dry cleaning machine and she insists on leaving them here anyway.  it's 8:22am and I’m already surrounded by idiots.

enter fire zone jew.... really no reason for parking there seeing as the entire lot is empty...

ugh back to Dexter for a few
alas, morning of jews... this guy is gonna want his stuff tomorrow too... I’m sure of it... at least the shirt machine is functioning today... well he didn't want his stuff for tomorrow but he did know where exactly to look on his wife’s dress for some pull marks that we definitely put there... couldn't possibly be from her coat rubbing on the spot... the cleaners is always to blame... wil is fixing it now.  fucking jews and their ability to get shit for free.  now he's standing outside smoking his cigarette and drinking his morning coffee, which he does twice a week when he comes here... so not the jewish thing to do.
a man and his little son came in to drop off some stuff... his little boy gets all shy and nervous and whispers something to his dad... he dad then tells him that he has to ask me if he wants stickers... HAHA  too cute... at least everyone is not an asshole today...

ughhhh.... another jew.... WITH A GIANT GARBAGE BAG.... ughhhhhhhh.....  guess when she wanted the dry cleaning for.... TOMORROW!!!  lol... then she asked if she could pick it up in the other store... NO.  lol... at least between Mrs. rubens and Mrs. Cohen I found out the machine is not totally broken and should be fine in a little while...
so the td bank just opened about a week and half ago and this girl that works there is the most chipper person I’ve ever encountered... it must be a new job. 

oooh another jew in the fire zone... parking lot even more empty... wonder what mountain he's gonna want me to climb for him...  oh what can't get out of your car because there's too much traffic... backing up to get closer... haha  this is classic... 
don't worry you can keep the fire zone warm with your car illegally parked while you finish that phone call... I have all day too just so you know...  on his way in... still on the phone... bet he's screaming when he get in here and then he expects me to read his mind when I ask his phone number... how dare I interrupt the convo.
OMG I wish I had a video of the last 2 minutes to prove my previous statement perfectly correct... must actually have my esp on today... he was having a conversation about the traffic going into the lincoln tunnel and how much it helps to leave just a little bit earlier.  totally interesting.

perhaps we should change this days name from tuesday to jewsday... here comes another... this place is gonna smell so bad by the end of the day.

"I have 26 shirts"  "okay but I’m gonna have to count them myself to check" "sighhhhhhh"  I counted them first 13 then he decided to count the second 13... much to his dismay I STILL NEED TO MAKE SURE!!!  lol... idiot

on a good note Mrs. Corrigan just brought back a black pants that actually belongs to another Mrs. Corrigan that my ever so wonderful new employee gave out to her by accident.  love how the first thing I told her is MAKE SURE THE TICKET NUMBERS MATCH BEFORE GIVING OUT THINGS. but then again I couldn't imagine a world in which two people unrelated could have the same last name. 

really another jew???  I don't get it today... I even have Jeff texting me... this is absurd... oh look this one is on his phone too... lingering outside the door... should I take another bite of my muffin or not... hmmmm......  wow... he wanted his shirts for tomorrow... shocker... it's $10.15  he says I’ll give you the 15 cents later like he said to me last week... I said you never gave me the 15 cents from last week... I wonder how many 15 cents this jew has gotten away with...

directly after that Mrs. Frederick calls to inform me that her 11 piece shirt order only contained 10 pieces... and  guess fucking what!  it's missing A BRAND NEW SHIRT! of course it's brand new... we never lose or damage anything old here... it's like the mistake fairy is fine tuned to brand new items.  this one more specifically... a GRAY VANHEUSAN SHIRT FROM JC PENNEY!!!!!!!  not funny.

ya know what really annoys me... 3 different people have come in asking for the sprinkler room key... WE DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING KEY!!!!!!!!!!!!

calling paramount now... ughhhh.....

oh guess what another jew... this is my favorite... she actually waited til she was walking out the door to request her stuff be done a day earlier... ASSHOLE

an old lady just called me adorable... =)

there are some guys here inspecting the sprinklers... he said he doesn't mind getting caught in the nick trap... THIS GUY MUST BE ON SOME CRAZZZZZZY DRUGS... if i look up I’m gonna get a face full of stuff.... like I haven't heard that before... he's actually quite comical...

told him that 's where I hide the bodies...

got some stuff on my chair....

sprinkler guy just reappeared... looking green... apparently he just drank some orange juice off the floor in the sprinkler room... it wasn't his... and it wasn't fresh... and it might not have even been orange juice... if he throws up in front of me... I’m quitting this day...

my boss just insisted that I text Jeff and ask him why all the jews are coming in today... he doesn't really care but he wants to bust Jeff’s balls about his store not being busy... love how I’m thrown in the middle of this... maybe he should put more effort into the dry cleaning...

sprinkler guy just threw the keys back on the counter and told me he was done with me... but only after he stood there til I turned around... then said he needed a proper exit... a proper exit?  after he throws up?  is that a joke???

so much for an exit... he totally came back... he claims it's because he's lazy and walking through here is more convenient... I asked him what his name was and he said he wasn't telling me... boys are weird.

walked through again... didn't say a word... but wil gave me the death stare like it's my fault this boy is a totally wackjob...


he claims to have told me his name when he first came in here... I told him all I heard was blah blah blah.... I told him I was gonna start charging him to walk through the store... he said he didn't see a toll... or even a sign for a toll

he said I’m short changing myself... so he asks for keys back and I tried to sell them back to him for 10$ each... that did not work either....

jews ahoy!!!  guess when he needed 42 shirts and 13 suits for...  TOMORROWWWWWW!!!

so the fire alarm just went off for 2 minutes straight... I can't hear a fucking thing right now...

a grandmother just brought her granddaughter in here to get some pants hemmed.. I was writing up her ticket and said just the length?... she says to me... "yeah we gotta get them bigger in the waist til she gets skinny like you" ... right in front of this little girl...she had to be like 12... wow.

customer "these pants have poison ivy on them"   me *takes out shot gun and shoots self in head*    haha....
ughhhh.... this dude parked here to ask if wil was gonna be here in an hour because he was going to the pizza place to eat... so what would be the problem with parking and asking on the way into the pizzeria?


Mrs. clement... fire zone... drops stuff and runs... soooo annoying...

this guy came in and pointed out that I was eating lunch at lunch time... and that he thought I should share.... think I should point out that he is illegally parked in the fire zone and disrupting the traffic flow to the plaza cuz he does not know how to share?

it's 12:48pm and I’m trying to eat my lunch as previously stated... if jimmy is late today I’m gonna freak.... mmmm pickles...

Mr. Kaufman just came in... he wasn't that creepy today prolly because there were guys all up in here!

STEVE!!!!! his name is STEVE!!!!!! sprinkler guy is back... he says a BLT is a bacon sandwich... I’m in agreement...

the Mexicans are listening to the Mexican version of piano man... I want to cry.... this morning they were listening to eminem... which is very out of character...

Steve is back again... I can tell that wil is biting his lip in utter disgust for the way boys flock to me... he asked to use our microwave... I let him... Steve passed judgment on little jimmy by seeing him for 2 minutes in a track suit... he was dead on.

ughh... break from the front!  yessss!!!!! get this tagging done and waiting for nick to get back with more work...


why I go bat shit crazy at work....
this guy backed in and out 6 times before the guy in front finally left so he could just leave through the space in front...

there are 3 people in the store right now... jimmy is making every effort to go as slow as possible and there is nothing I can do to help out cuz there is only 1 computer.... police officer my ass....

jimmy just asked me if a king sized bed spread is 15 dollars even tho the computer says 35... before that he accused me of not being able to multi task because I got annoyed at him for talking while I was trying to watch Dexter... I kindly explained to him that it's not my inability to multi task it's because I don't WANT to... or more straight forward  I DON'T FUCKING CARE WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT I'M TRYING TO WATCH DEXTER!!!!!

well... xfinity just stopped working so no more Dexter... I think I’ll enjoy the shit show that is jimmy alphabetizing shirts...

right now me and a really chill customer are having a silent conversation about how slow and dumb jimmy is... we're laughing like little girls... too funny... he just asked me "what did I miss?"  I said "EVERYTHINGGGGGG"  he says "oh"  ughhhh....

Just got into an argument with Nick… he’s trying to tell me that going to Nom’s store rather than going back to Lakehurst to get my work is a good idea… then he adds “you don’t even know where Nom’s store is”  “oh really” I say.  “how about in Stella plaza on 166 across from the 7 eleven right past the parkway over pass 3 stores down from the laundromat and sometimes they watch the store for him while he takes his little granddaughter to school.  Ya know the place that’s a disgusting mess with kids toys filling the fitting room, nope! Don’t know where that is.”   *cricket cricket* 

One of my customers from Lakehurst just came in here to see how miserable I was… isn’t that lovely… then he asked me out to a movie to make up for finding it funny that I’m miserable…

Just got off the phone with my boss… he said Nick will be on his way back in a little while… it’s already 4:33... I am exhausted.  This day sucks and I’m sure tomorrow will be no better. 

4:40pm. This lady is actually trying things on in the fitting room right now… you would think something like this would require a parking spot… hmmm…. I bet after her fitting she asks for each individual price of everything in her giant bag of stuff… good thing I will not be writing this order up.  Xfinity is fixed and I’m back to Dexter.   It’s 4:42pm and the work still isn’t here.

The lady in the fire zone is still here… she’s studying her ticket…  4:49pm
4:53pm she finally leaves AND  Nick is here!!!! 

Well the last 40 minutes was just awesome… I got to look through every single piece of clothing that was on our rack… looking for  2 pairs of pants that were from Saturday.  Maybe this would have been more effective had I know there was a problem on Saturday… OH WAIT!! I did know they were missing and when I call on Saturday to find my missing pieces I get blown off and told “oh there’s a lot of re-dos and I don’t feel like looking for them”  hmmmm then I call again on Monday and what do I hear?  “oh the machine is being repaired and I’m busy I’ll call ya back”  Tuesday morning “I don’t have time to look for it”  Tuesday afternoon “someone over there bagged it wrong”  too bad most of the orders from Friday and Saturday have already been given out… ha….

5:55pm  I think it’s time to leave.

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